You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
