as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
