brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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