i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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