Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
