He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
