I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
