I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
