his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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