I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
