I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sorry about my life...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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