There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
