At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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