Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
