I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He felt like a one man threesome
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
