In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
