the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
