I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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