I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
