They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She bit a glass in half.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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