Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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