Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
