FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
