just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
