first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
