i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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