Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
