I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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