all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
