whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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