i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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