How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
