I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
