I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
