my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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