sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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