By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
