just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
