apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
