what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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