And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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