So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
