yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
