That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
