this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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