I feel like I'm in dance class right now
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
