I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
