Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
