You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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