she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
