I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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