i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
