Say something about gay babies.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
