I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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