worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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