I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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