hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
