shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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